Trust is a word that I have heard my entire life. Trust is something that is hard to do in a world that seems so unstable and insecure. Throughout this fall and beginning of 2015 I have seen myself grow in so many ways and I have learned so many new things. But the one thing that I continually go back to is the question, "Do I trust Jesus? Is He trustworthy?" I have not been trusting Him for the past couple of months, I have been mad at Him for certain situations and I have felt that my mindset would never change. I have been caught up in a whirlwind of fear and doubt and have been relying only on my feelings. That is a really terrible place to be. Many times I treat my faith like a superstition. If I pray the correct words, say the right verses and do things He has asked me to do, then I will feel at peace, I will feel better and I can get on with my life. I feel like I am just now grasping what the word trust means. Trust is believing in God's promises. Really believing, when things don't add up and when you can think of a million reasons to doubt. I say I believe, but when it comes down to it, I really don't a lot of times. I rabbit trail off in my mind to reasons I don't believe and to reasons why I need to fear and worry about the past or the future. I see how broken and messed up I am and I fall into a pit of despair. I many times think that all my analyzing and rabbit trail thinking will help me find answers and come to some crazy conclusion. I think that once I reach that conclusion, then I can truly relax and be at peace. SO NOT TRUE! The reason Jesus is better is because He died on the cross and took the punishment for our sins! We can surrender those worries and fears to Him because He already freed us from them. It is crazy to live in slavery when we have been set free! He can give us the guidance we need and the answers we want, if we wait patiently on His timing and His plan. I am not smart enough to figure it out on my own. I will fail every time. When I truly fix my eyes on him, I begin to learn about His character. He is patient, kind, He is not rude or self seeking, He is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrong. He delights in the truth, He protects, trusts, always perseveres and chases after us when we go astray! He is perfect love! Once I begin to meditate on these truths, I begin to relax because I know that I am going to be ok, no matter what. I am broken, I am a mess and I am so thankful for a savior. I can be content in any and every situation because I know that He using every situation to bring Himself glory, which makes me love Him more!
I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
and put their trust in him.